A bagger went down to Tahoe, he was looking for someone to hate
he was feelin good
in his robe and hood
and he wanted to debate
When he came across this hippie,puffin on a doobie and smellin like pot
the bagger jumped on a hickory stump and said: "Boy let me tell you what:
"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a god fearin man.
"And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make you join the klan.
"Now you say a lot of horse shit so give a bagger his due:
"I bet beck gold against your soul, 'cos I think I'm better than you."
The dude said: "My name's typo and it might be a sin,
"But I'll take your bet, your gonna regret, 'cos I'm the best that's ever been."
bagger fire up your lies and play your old race card,
and explain to that old hippie, bout not in your back yard
cuz if you win this walkin sin is gonna have to pray
but if you lose your gonna have to pay
The bagger opened up his case and said: " he a socialist."
And bullshit flew as talking points and he shook his bagger fist
Then a band of baggers joined in and it sounded something like this.
amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like meeeee
that Muslim man ain't gonna take my guns nor liberteeee
when the bagger finished, the hippie ran his fingers through his hair
and he took another bong hit, just to make it fair
now you said some stuff, but it aint enough
so its my turn to share
he sang
Obamas in the white house getting shit done
he dont care about your hatred and he dont want your guns
sticken to the first plan, spending your dough
bagger does your mind work,
"No, child, no."
The bagger bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
He laid that bag of beck gold on the ground at Typo's feet.
typo said: "bagger just come on back if you ever want to try again.
"but ill tell you once you son of a bitch you aint never gonna win.
And he played
.
liberals in the white house kickin your ass
doin it with style, love and class
bagger does your welfare pay your bills?
cuz you aint nothing but corporate shills
your shit dont fly and never will
DUDE! You have to publish that, with apologies to the Charlie Daniels Band.... OMG. You have outdone your Knig self with that. I love this blog! Barb/msbadger
ReplyDeleteI hate you, you stole badger away from my site now my followers are back down to the middle single digits. LOL I think all of us at HP should have blogs.
ReplyDeletesay hi to the queef!
JACKHOLE.
That's brilliant. I cannot stop laughing.
ReplyDeleteI also like that you and I collaborated on this one too. And by collaborated I mean you wrote the whole thing except a few words and yet somehow I blogged it.
Personally I think it belongs here and not so much on my blog. So...
Typo-Knig's
The Legend of Bagger Beck
T'was the night before Beckmas
And all through the den
Not a creature was shifting money offshore
Not even The Glenn.
the crosses were burnt on the lawns with care
in hopes that saint becky soon would be there
the baggers were all snug in their beds
while visions of gold danced in their heads
with ma in her uniform and me in my hood
we hoped that we'd get em, get em all good
when out on the mall there arose such a clatter
i sprang from my bible to see what was the matter
i tore up the constiution and looked for an answer
out on the drive way was a black panther
i sheek and i cried dear god they are here and
all i could do was become wet with fear
the brothers they said to me right there and then
dont hate us for being one of them
we dont come to hurt you or make you afraid
we doe look for white women just to get laid
we come to show you that were people too
and your not in charge nor us of you
so I blamed obama and called the man
and said i need help round up the klan
but the panthers they chuckeled and shouted with glee
why your just a bagger and no threat to me
so they got in their cars and drove away
go eff yourself brother, respect MLK
thansk guys. it was just another attempt to post on HP that failed. jack and zaph. you guys have blogs that are fun and awesome. mine just a place for me to vent when i need more words than anywhere else will allow or words that rhyme with wit and duck.. at least people know yours exist.
ReplyDeleteDon't make me go back there to that place of bitchcraft and pimp your blog!
ReplyDelete: )
I just pimped my blog on HP. I did most of it off the main threads and it would go like this...
Person A makes comment.
...Me: Hi person A
......Person A: Hi Kermie what's up?
If I reply to this then the click here for more comments will appear on reloading the page. Someone has to click this next reply to find it so it's not in your face blogpimping. So then I'd reply with...
..........Me: Smartarse comment + admission of blogpimping + URL.
I did that not too often and late at night too when it was really friends around posting music. I only had to do it a few times before a few people knew.
I did post on the main thread as a new post once or twice after first making the blog. But it was late at night and to be honest I expected the comment to be removed and did it to see what happened and how it felt to blogpimp after saying it was bad and wrong when others did it. I was okay with it. I thought, well, I'm a hypocrite for sure now. Shouldn't I feel guilt? Who's that laughing?
Other people were happy to be willing accomplices in my blogcrime and without any asking, a few reposted the URL while I was there too which was a bit awkward. So it circulated I guess, but like jackhole's blog and yours, only a few people go there to say hi and share their thoughts and I actually quite like that its a small and friendly thing.
I notice Brownie haunts Jackhole's blog which is why I tend to read more than I post there. I just don't want the interaction. So there's maybe other reasons to want a limited subscription of readership.
Same with LttL's blog. Trolls hang out there.
And I surf on over here all the time as my comments prove. I just type ty into my browser navigator window and hit enter. This is one of my newest favoritest places to come. So if it's a place where you vent and so on then fucking awesome. I'm proud to be one of your first readers and responders and I expect your blog will absolutely get a lot more traffic once people actually do know about it.
my reasoning is simple: you're the knig.
Fuck.
ReplyDeleteMy reply went into the internets void. T'was too long it said.
I can bullet point.
* You rock.
* Subtle blogpimping on the HP is possible.
Example late at night on what is now a thread dominated by music.
Person A: Some comment.
...Kermit: Hiya person A! Hope you're good.
......Person A: Hi Kermit. what's new?
.........click here for more comments.....
*click*
.........Kermit: My blogpimp count! Sorry for pimping. Hope you enjoy. URL.
* Jackhole's place attracted Brownie and there may be limits to what constitutes too many readers.
* May you continue to vent. It's brilliant and I love your site so there.
due i have no problem pimping your blog. its funny and well written and makes people think as well as laugh. it needs to be seen. A diamond in the dark aint nothing but a rock. you and jackhole and lttr are what blogging should be about Mines just a silly place for me to vent and swear.
ReplyDeletehow do you make your comments so that you can reply to each one individually? and how do i put up links to real blogs on mine?
The comments section I had to read up on. I looked for a provider of comments services. I settled on
ReplyDeletehttp://disqus.com
Because they're free and they enabled tiered comments. It took some coding and messing around with the HTML in Blogger. The disqus site makes it possible to do it. It's a bit involved and it took the good part of a day to try a few different comments systems and get the comments section going as it is now.
The blogpimping stuff... well... that was more to say y'know I think you should get more readers over here. Pimp yer blog once or twice to good friends - that's all I did - so others can enjoy. I mean... something to think about.
And lastly, the whole point of blogging to me is that there ARE NO EFFIN RULES!
It's a creator's market in that sense. I do it for fun. No other reason. Helps me deal with shit. So there's stuff on politics, family, you name it. If someone actually goes there and enjoys it, bonus. Getting replies is always nice. I like that it's a circle of friends and I like that it's kept small because the idea isn't to be Bob Cesca, it's to be me and do my own small thing.
About the links... If you click the DESIGN link on the top of your blog you go to a page titled Edit Layout.
ReplyDeleteNot sure about your blog layout but there should be a button on that page called " Add a Gadget"
Click that. A pop-up box should appear with all different kinds of crap you can stick on your page. So called "page elements".
Scroll down and you get to
" Link List
Add a collection of your favorite sites, blogs, or web pages.
By Blogger "
Click that. Another pop up box appears. You can now add links to this thing. When you save your pop-up goes away. If you view your blog now a new page element should be there.
The "Edit Layout" page has a button at the top worth clicking too.
"Template Designer New!"
This is pretty cool. You can mess around with page layout and design ok with this thing.
I add videos by adding a HTML page element from that list. I copy and paste 'embed this video' stuff in the box and resize the video by looking at the dimensions of it contained in the code so it fits.
If you want to embed a video in your blog that's easy too. There's no button for it. When writing the blog you have a tab which says view HTML.
So I've already copied the video embed code. I then click on view page as HTML... find the spot where I want to stick the video... it's not that bad even though there's all this code flying around... you can sort of see the test stands out...
find my spot... paste the embed code... click normal edit view to make the HTML code go away. A video then appears in active the blog edit window. you cannot see the video when editing but as soo as you post it works fine.
Hope that helps somehow : )
you can sort of see the test stands out...
ReplyDeletelol... what a cool typo, Typo.
Should have been...
you can sort of see the TEXT stands out...
Knig! It's the anonymous chasethis & that. Just found your blog via Adonai's new blog. You're brilliant, as always. And I like your followers, too. Pimp away!
ReplyDelete