I made a comment to zaphguykerm the other day about what if jesus was born today. this is where my brain went.

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THIS IS CNN
Welcome to the situation room. today we are discussing the birth of the Christian messiah. today on our panel we have Bob Talkingheadinstein, the 3rd wise man and Ariana Huffington.
lets start with you Mr.Wiseman. now you were there for the actual birth?

well no we arrived a little later, but we did bring gifts.
Oh and what gift did you bring

what we brought really isnt important. we did anoint him

you brought the myrrh didn't you

look i was told about the whole thing late and myrrh is a very fin.....

lets move on. Ariana. what are your thoughts about the messiah?

vell i tink ve need to see de entire ting in terms uf ze socieoeeeconoomic forces at verk in der plannings uf da new yet old version uf ze plan

how do you feel about that Bob?

feel about what? was that even english?


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welcome back to the The O’Reilly Factor. on our panel today we have Carl Rove, Jim Sheppard and Ariana Huffington. Now Jim you were there when the holy angel first appeared can you tell us about it?

Well first of all Sheppard isnt my last name dude. Its what i do i heard sheep. but anyway. i was out on the field. Chillin with my sheep buddies playing with my hooked stick. when this awesome light just like appeared. and i thought woah, its like an alien and it wants to probe me. i mean ya hear things right? but it explained that it was bringing me some awesome tidings. I was like what are tidings? but after a while it just kind of gave me that look that your giving me now, and was like , look theres a baby being born and its the son of god. i was like which god and it said something about smiting and left. but ya know i saw this star get all big and told the wise dudes about it.


Carl whats your take on the new messiah?
id like to see a birth certificate. This could just be another case if anchor deity. but even so had abortion been allowed in this case where would we be?

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WELCOME TO THE DAILY SHOW. MAN HAVE WE GOT A SHOW FOR YOU. Ariana Huffington will be here to discuss the virgin birth

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next on Glenn beck we will have a special guest the First Wise man to discuss his recent purchase from gold line and Arianna huffington will also stop by to...


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today on the home shopping club, for the next hour Ariana Huffington will be here to tell you about her new line of smaller banks

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Welcome back to Maury. we are about to discover the results of Mary and josephs d.n.a test. you'll remember Mary says she hasnt been with any man but Joe claims to be the father. if i could just get the envelope brought out. Thank you Ariana.
Joseph, you are NOT the father of little baby Jesus.

Beep you you lying Beep

Oh no you didden, beep you ya beep. look it was one night and he swore he was god. he had this wine tasting water. i think he stuck a ruffee in it

so mary you claimed you were drugged by the lord and had no knowledge of doin the nasty with him


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The Pat Robertson program will not be seen today as he was last seen running away yelling " Oh shit oh shit oh shit, he's real"


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later in the show Ariana Huffington will be here to read a Thurber story, but first
Our 3rd story tonight a special comment on the virgin birth.
this is to the baby jesus. your life will be difficult. and you will be ridiculed. some may wash their hands. others may anoint your feet. but let me be clear sir. you are no Jesus of mine. while others may indeed worship you. i will not be one of the blind followers that you seek. no my good man. i will as always be what i am today. let not the fact that your an infant deter you from my words.....

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ok gang, lets take the mask off and see who our ghost really is

ZOIKS

I voulda got avay vid it eef it vasnt for dem noosy keeds.