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Friday, September 10, 2010

hail to the queef.

When I first sat down to write this post it was going to be about the life of a rescuers hubby. It was going to be full of funny little things that happen to someone married to someone that does this. but as I was writing my mind wandered and it ended up being a love letter to my wife. So I'll write the rescue one some other time.
I get a lot of people telling me just how wonderful my wife and I are because of the rescue work with animals we do. well I have to be honest. Its not we, oh don't get me wrong I'll take all the credit i can grab, but it's not and shouldn't be mine. I put up with it. thats about it. Ill feed them and play with them and step in their little droppings of love and bitch good naturedly ( mostly) about them. But its the Queef that does it all. She is the emotionally strongest person I have ever met.She has the rare ability to separate how she feels from what needs to be done. something i lack. I'm ruled by my emotions. I'm big gurly man that cries real tears at that folgers commercial where the son comes home, every fucking year. now don't get me wrong here. Sue is not in any way cold. She laughs and cries with her whole self. But she does it when there is time.

So a little about the Queef and I. We "met" online in 02. I was living in Tahoe at the time and the road had closed for a few weeks and gateway was stupid enough to give me credit. so i decided to go into a chat room to learn how to type. we all can see how well that worked out. i never learned to type, but i did meet my wife. we spent about a year chatting, mostly about how incredibly stupid online love affairs are. we talked for about a year and again i couldn't get to my job and had a few bucks put aside. so i decided to go to England to meet this woman i most definitely wasn't falling in love with. because that's just stupid, how can you love someone you've never met? So i went there just because i had a free place to stay. honest. I'm serious.
So after i finally got through customs. ( an even longer story ). we met in real life. I can still taste that first kiss. We were officially in love. I stayed for a month and had many adventures through out Europe from sex shows in Amsterdam to dog shoes in Birmingham. We then said a horrible good bye and I came home. reveling in self misery that i would probably never see her again. she was across the globe and i was pretty broke. I was resigned to it being over. sue isn't like me in that respect. she makes things happens. two months later i picked her up in San Francisco. ten days later i married my wife for the first time.
Most people look at that last sentence and say huh? first time? well yes , we have been married a total of three times so far. the first time. was on my couch . having decided that saying goodbye again just wasn't something we were willing to let happen. we had a choice to make. I could ask the woman i loved to give up her whole life. her dogs and family and come live with me here. or i could give up pretty much my nothing life and go there. no brainer. Since we were both independently poor. i would need to work in the UK. only way that could happen is if we were married. A match made in emigration. my sister is the county clerk and has the power to marry people. so we sat on the couch and said the do you i do stuff. Bang after 39 years a committed bachelor i was married. the next day we had a small wedding because I'm a hopeless romantic and needed one. we were married in the Elvis suite of the Horizon casino. romantic huh? one week later after selling everything i owned i had packed my life into a few suit cases and we were on our way to jolly old England. having decided to surprise her parents with our being married. we told them that we were engaged. before we even said hello her father, said " the Christchurch priory is the perfect place for a wedding." he grew up near this 1000 year old church, was an alter boy and married his wife there. So we continued the engaged farce and were married with All the bells and whistles six months later. an event worthy of its own blog post ill someday get to.
So that tells you allot about my wife. on paper we are nothing alike. I'm a hippie and a dead head pure and simple. I can listen to or play music for days on end. she is tone deaf and cant understand why anyone would sit and watch other people stand there and sing. I am a smart ass that can't help from making dumb jokes no matter what the occasion. she is a smart lady that is comfortable in any situation. I can be mean , she is always kind. she keeps my ego in check and always reminds me that while it looks like it from inside my head, the universe doesn't exist just for my benefit. she is a get shit done kind of person. if not for her i would not own my house. i wouldn't have however many dogs i have when i get home at night. i wouldn't have anything. . would still be a broke assed musician living every day as it came. she is my rock in times of trouble, she is my friend in times of joy. she is my hope for a future . she is my other half. where before i met her i largely ignored the future. now because of her i look forward to it.
so one day ill get to the funny blog about the hubby of a rescuer, for today i just want the world to know I love my wife.

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